SHIELDs of NERV
by MichaelCross
Summary: Upon arrival into her boyfriend's world, Laura and Shinji must do what they can to avert disaster. Can they succeed? Rated for language and lemon.


SHIELDs of NERV

Disclaimer; I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion or X-Men Evolution. Wish I did, though.

Author's Notes; Here we are, folks. The sequel to Evolution Shinji. This chapter takes place right after Shinji and Laura got sucked into the vortex in Chap 35. Here we go!

The first thing Laura notices around her is heavily-clouded amber liquid. Seeing that she's straddling Shinji, she smiles softly before he brings his respireather out from the pouch on his pistol belt. Getting his drift, she follows suit with hers. Only to see him signing to her.

*We'll purge valve for 90 seconds before I try to breathe. I'll sign you when it's okay.* Giving him a nod of understanding, she turns the knob on her respireather and presses the purge in tandem with him on his. 90 seconds later, he releases his purge valve. Concerned, she sees his chest rise before he signs again.

*Okay to breathe now.* Laura nods while releasing her purge valve before taking a breath. Glad to breathe air again, she gently cups Shinji's face before she signs.

*How do you think we did?*

*I hope we wore that 'Smurf' casting reject down enough.* At her nod of agreement, he signs, *What do you think of your first time being inside an entry plug for an Evangelion?*

*I can think of much better firsts than this one, my sweet Shinji.* The feeling of Shinji's hands softly caressing her breasts over her BDU blouse nearly gets her to close her eyes in bliss before signing again.

*I don't know how your Mother will like you groping me while we're inside her.* Yet her eyes have a twinkle of mirth-filled desire within them as Shinji gently brushes her nipples before she signs again. *Keep it up and we're going to have sex right here in the plug.*

*That's a bad thing how?* Shinji then winks before he signs again. *Might as well get the scrubber going.*

Laura nods before doffing her knapsack and opening it. Bringing out a small blue oval shape with flat bottom, she looks down the plug and sees the floor. But before she can move, however, motion can be felt around the entry plug. Her eyes going wide, she looks up toward Shinji before signing.

*I guess Unit-01's waking up now to get you out of here.*

*Yep. Oh, you might want to be ready to cover your ears. When Asuka shrieks, her voice can be quite shrill.*

*Any other pieces of advice?*

*Be ready for teasing by Misato. Lots of teasing.*

Laura nods her understanding as Unit-01 comes to stop in motion before emitting a terrifying roar. A roar that Laura had heard a month and a half ago on the heli-carrier's 7th Level. A roar that she never thought she'd hear again. Let alone want to. Next thing she knows, the entry plug starts moving on its own accord, prompting her look toward Shinji. Seeing her query in her eyes, he signs again.

*Rescue procedures. In this world, it's been a little over sixteen hours since Unit-01 went into the 12th Angel. Undoubtedly, it came out in a terrifying fashion.*

*I can believe that.* With that, she snuggles into Shinji as the clouded LCL is rapidly purged before the hatch opens. The flow of air, along with sunlight, gets the two teens to remove their respireathers and shut them off before smiling softly at each other.

"Welcome to Tokyo-3, SHIELD JOFA Laura Howlett." Laura can only softly giggle at that before hearing the sound of machinery outside the plug whining. Getting her attention and Shinji to reassure her. "It's the rescue arm, part of the procedures. If the Pilot is unable to get out under their own power…"

"The rescue arm is used. I'm guessing it was used during your first bout against the 5th Angel." At his nod, she gently caresses his cheek. Curious, she then asks, "But how does the arm pick up the Pilot?"

"You're about to find out. Hold on tightly to me."

Laura blinks at that before smiling widely, happy to get some more snuggle time during the rescue procedures. Upon seeing the arm's end making contact with the top of the Pilot's chair, she hears the machinery interlocking and feels the chair unlocking itself from the plug. The arm then starts lifting, only to whine.

_(Outside Unit-01; same time)_

"Major Katsuragi, there's additional weight on Pilot Ikari's seat!"

"Compensate for it and get him the fuck out of there! Get the med-techs on the move!"

"Yes ma'am!" As the technician does so, Major Katsuragi is aware of familiar footsteps coming up behind.

"Misato?"

"No need to worry, Asuka. Just a slight complication with the procedures." Misato then turns toward the girl that addressed her, only to smirk upon seeing the German redhead's face. With Asuka noticing.

"What's with the smirk, Misato?" Asuka's query is left unanswered as Misato is barely able to stop her snickers from coming out. "Misato!"

"I'll show you later, Asuka." Asuka can only be baffled at that before she looks toward a blue-haired girl that she knows for sure has absolutely no sense of humor.

"Will you tell me why Misato is snickering, Wondergirl?!"

"The state of Major Katsuragi is because of a curved end mustache on your face above your upper lip, Pilot Sohryu. From appearances, it looks like a permanent marker was used to draw it."

Asuka does a double take at the girl's calm demeanor before huffing in annoyance, thinking she was just starting to use deadpan humor.

"So much for you not having a sense of humor, Wondergirl!" With that, she stomps toward the rescue site, adding, "Maybe stupid Shinji can finally make sense for once!" Leaving the blue-haired girl baffled before she looks toward Misato.

"Major Katsuragi, what did Pilot Sohryu mean by I have no sense of humor? I told her exactly why you were reacting like that."

"She was probably expecting you to say you don't know, Rei. No need to worry. Shall we go meet with Shinji now?" Rei gives Misato a nod as the two trail behind the annoyed redhead, with Misato quickly overtaking her, muttering, "What's with the extra mass on the Pilot's chair?"

As the Pilot's chair is set onto the ground, Misato gets close enough to see, and blink, that her ward's not alone. A tanned young woman snuggling up to Shinji, a content smile on her face with her eyes closed. Misato fights to resist the urge to shriek in happiness until she notices how they're dressed.

Along with them holding some kind of breathing apparatus in their hands and packing firearms. Said weapons being unloaded and their magazines in plastic zip-lock baggies in the magazine holders on the pistol belts around their waists. All further thought is pushed aside as Asuka pushes her way past Misato, only to blink three times in a dumbfounded manner.

"Misato."

"Yes, Asuka?"

"Please tell me stupid Shinji's not wearing blue camo, holding some kind of breathing gear, under arms and snuggling up with a girl the same way as he is."

"I could, Asuka, but then I'd be lying."

"Ah." Asuka then notices Shinji and the girl both moving to cover their ears, causing her to note their reasoning before blowing. "I AM NOT SHRILL! TTTHHHIIIRRRDDD!" By the time she's done screaming, she sees the girl open her eyes and gently peck his cheek.

"You sure called that one, sweet Shinji."

"I have my days, lovely Laura."

Feeling annoyed, Asuka moves to yank the girl away from a boy that's so spineless, he has no business talking like that. She then grabs the girl's shoulder, only to find herself on her back, the girl kneeling over her, with two claws out from her right hand. Said claws being right at her neck, sharp edges close to her lower jaw. Asuka can only react the only way she knows.

"What… the… fuck, 3rd Child?!" The girl kinks her head to the side, an amused smirk creasing her lips. With the smirk tempered by annoyance at Asuka's tone.

"I'll thank you to not call my partner and boyfriend that. Along with mistreating him like you did in the past. That stops now. Got me, bubette?"

"I will treat him any way I like!" The girl gives Asuka a feral smirk before Asuka soon feels a very sharp point at her plug-suit covered crotch. 'Sharp!'

"Let me be perfectly clear, brat. Unless you want a free hysterectomy, without anesthesia, you will cease and desist in your abuse toward him. Have I made my point, bubette?" Instead, Asuka looks toward Shinji and sees that he's greatly amused.

"Why are you smiling, 3rd Child?! Can't you see she's threatening to spay me?!"

"I see how her claws are positioned and it's no threat." Asuka can only blanch at that before gulping.

"You mean…"

"Yep. She's promising to spay you. Even more, you look absolutely ridiculous like that, Pilot Sohryu. What do you think, partner?" Before Asuka can even ask what Shinji meant by that, Laura blinks before guffawing.

"You… look… exactly… as… you… are… on the inside!" Laura then recedes, retracting her claws into place before turning back to Shinji. "But it fits her, right?"

"It does fit her." Next thing Shinji knows, he's hugged from behind by a giggling, yet teary-eyed, Misato. "I missed you too, Misato."

"Why does it sound like you were so far away, Shinji? And who's your little girlfriend?"

"As to the second, she's not little, but she is my girlfriend. Misato Katsuragi, Rei Ayanami, meet Laura Howlett. Laura, meet my guardian and CO, NERV Major Misato Katsuragi and the 1st Child, Rei Ayanami." Laura and Misato both smile widely at each other while Rei politely nods to Laura, with Laura returning it. Asuka, however…

"Why're you introducing them and not me as well, 3rd Child?!" Shinji rolls his eyes toward the redhead before looking back toward Laura and getting a smirk from her. Smirking right back, he turns back to Asuka.

"Asuka Langley Sohryu, my partner and girlfriend, Laura Howlett. Laura, you've already met the 2nd Child, Asuka Langley Sohryu. But I really don't think she liked the intro."

"Damn right I didn't, 3rd Child!" Getting to her feet, the abrasive redhead stomps toward him, snarling out, "Why the Hell is she willing to snuggle with a spineless worm like you, anyway?! She'd be better off with one of the other monkeys there at the school! One that has a spine!"

"Shinji's not spineless, in any way. He's just a very sweet guy. And he does have a spine." Turning her green eyes toward the German, Laura adds, "We also did more than snuggle within the last two weeks during the roughly three months we've known each other. Much, much more." Asuka can only blink blankly at the tone in her voice before Misato smiles widely.

"Does that mean…?"

"Yes, Misato." Shinji gently clasps his left hand into Laura's right, their faces red in blush, before adding, "Laura and I are also lovers." The next thing Asuka knows, her brain simply decides it's a good time to take a nap. As her body slumps down to the ground, NERV Medical personnel catch the redhead.

"At least she took it well." Misato giggles in agreement with Laura's words before looking toward Shinji. Not seeing Rei do the same. Both cast an appraising eye over him, his BDUs, and weaponry before doing the same with Laura. "Major?"

"Please, just call me Misato, Laura. But… is it me, Shinji, or did you get taller and a little more built?"

"A little bit on both, yeah."

"Okay. What's with the duds and hardware? I like how you had the magazines prepped for possible submergence, though."

"We'll explain later and thanks. We couldn't find any baggies we could put the pistols in, though."

"Hence why they're unloaded."

"Yep. Oh, could you get someone to get our knapsacks from the entry plug please?"

Misato nods for a NERV worker to come up before telling him to go up into the plug and bring the knapsacks out from it. As the worker does so, Misato circles the two of them like a shark. Rei only standing idly, perplexed by the change of circumstances before speaking.

"Pilot Ikari, why are you and Howlett dressed like that instead of your plug-suit? Along with under arms? And what are those breathing apparatus devices? I had never seen them before."

"It's a long story, Ayanami. One that'll be explained when we're all together in the Commander's office so we can only explain once."

"Understood, Pilot Ikari."

"Thanks." Kinking his head to the side, he turns to Laura before asking, "Shall we go ahead and open the packets?"

"Yeah, might as well. Agent Fontaine may not have said, but she did infer that Colonel Fury's instructions for us were very explicit, Shinji."

Misato and Rei both blink at their businesslike, yet conversational, tone as they reach into their trousers' side pockets. Bringing out two plastic baggies with envelopes within, they open them and bring the envelopes out.

"Need a claw, sweetie?"

"Please, love." Laura uses one of her hand claws to open both envelopes and gets a buss on her cheek as thanks from Shinji. Which causes her to giggle before they bring out and look upon the papers.

'_JOFA Ikari/Howlett,_

_From the moment you're reading this, these are your orders as per SHIELD operational mandate._

_Use any and all means to stop Gendo and SEELE's mad plans for global death._

_It has been an honor and privilege being one of your mentors._

_Consider yourself and your partner SHIELDs of NERV._

_If Gendo gives you or your partner any grief, it sucks to be him. _

_Will find way to you with strike force for assistance ASAP._

_Be sure to destroy these orders after reading._

_Colonel Nick Fury_

_SHIELD'_

"Unless I'm reading this wrong, Laura, we've just been activated."

"You're not, Shinji. We are activated." Looking toward Misato, she then asks, "Do you have a lighter handy, Misato?"

"No, but… Ritsu! Can we borrow your lighter right quick?!" A scream from nearby gets Misato's attention as she rushes off. "Ritsu!" Leaving Shinji and Laura alone with the bluenette.

"Pilot Ikari, what do you and Miss Howlett mean by 'activated'? Also, who is Colonel Fury?"

"It's like I said, Ayanami. It's a long story, one that'll be told in the Commander's Office." Laura nods in agreement with Shinji before Rei nods right back.

"Understood. One thing troubles me about Pilot Sohryu, though."

"What's that, Rei?" Laura's query gets Rei to blink before looking back toward the passed out redhead.

"Before the operation, Pilot Sohryu did not have a mustache drawn on her face. Now, she does. How can that be?" Shinji and Laura's eyes can only go wide at that before they sigh audibly.

"Deadpool." Their tandem reply baffles Rei to no end before loud cheers, laughter and catcalls can be heard.

Willing themselves to look toward the cheers, the three see a widely grinning Misato walking beside a beet-red Ritsuko Akagi. Wearing only her lab coat, clutching it tightly closed as best she can. With a white bra and panties with white garter and white stockings showing with each step. Shinji feels his face go red before he turns around. Not wanting to stir Laura's ire. Laura, however, giggles tentatively while a still-baffled Rei watches the NERV scientist stride up to them. Highly irritated.

"I swear, Misato, whoever managed to dress me up as a wannabe model for 'Victoria's Secret' while I was out in the field will lose their fucking job and head!"

"Come on, Ritsu! You know you look good! Evidently, whoever pulled it off thought so as well!"

"I'd normally be flattered any other day and in private, but not today or out here in the open!" Looking down at herself, she gripes, "I look like I belong in a brothel! All I need are high heels and I'll fit right in!" Seeing the unfamiliar tanned girl in blue camouflage, she blinks. "Hello."

"It's nice to meet you, Dr. Akagi. Shinji told me much about you and NERV."

Before Akagi can even blink, a tall red-black male form with weaponry appears in front of her. Which startles her and Misato both to no end. Rei, however, can only blink in bewilderment while Laura sighs in exasperation.

"I really should've seen this coming. It's just his style, given his penchant for mischief."

"Special delivery for Dr Ritsuko Akagi from 'White Queen' of the Hellfire Club!" The form grins toward the reader and says, "That's right, readers! Your favorite merc with a mouth is going to be in the story too! That's right! I, the Great Deadpool! Aren't you just the luckiest readers in the world?!"

Deadpool then dances around maniacally while laughing gleefully. Laura can only start rubbing her temples with her fingertips. Rei and Misato noticing, with the latter taking it.

"Laura, do you know this nutjob?"

"Shinji and I physically came across Deadpool about a week ago, Misato. He appeared on the heli-carrier's flight deck while we and Colonel Fury were testing the pump-action rocket launcher he gave Shinji." Misato blinks at that.

"Heli-carrier? Pump-action rocket launcher?"

"Part of the long story." Laura's reply gets Misato to nod her understanding.

"Oh, that reminds me!" Deadpool stops his mad dance before handing Laura a piece of paper and a small electronic box. "I didn't think that there wouldn't be GPS satellites, so if you want to switch the rockets to laser-guided…"

"I get your point, Deadpool." Laura feels her left eye twitching before she asks, "But, can you please tell me you had nothing to do with Sohryu's mustache and Akagi's state of… dress?"

"I could, but then it'd be a lie. Thinking of, the 'White Queen' is waiting for her clothes. And, she even included a note for you, Ritsy-poo." Akagi doesn't hesitate and grabs her clothes and note away from Deadpool before bolting toward a waiting NERV vehicle. "You're welcome, by the way!"

"Excuse me, Deadpool, right?" Misato's voice gets a thumbs-up from the merc before she asks, "Did you engage in any further mischief that we need to know about?"

"I'm afraid you'll have to wait and see, my lovely purple-haired NERV Officer. But I can safely say my latest bit of mischief brings out the inner truth to your very eyes. According to Shinji, anyway."

Upon Akagi returning five minutes later, dressed in her usual wear, the 'not-suitable-for-public' attire in hand, she glares Deadpool right in the eye.

"Be sure to tell her that she is more than welcome to the title of the sluttiest one of all!"

"I will." Turning to Shinji and Laura, he adds, "I'll check on you two later and let you know the happy news when I have them."

Before either can say anything, however, Deadpool vanishes. The teens are then left alone with an agitated Akagi, amused Misato and a still-baffled Rei. Before anyone can even speak, however, Asuka groans while regaining consciousness.

"Misato?" Going to the redhead's side, she gently takes the German girl's hand into hers.

"I'm right here, Asuka."

"I just had the most fucked up dream ever. I dreamed that stupid Shinji came out of Unit-01 with a girl with sharp claws. She threatened to give me a hysterectomy and was his lover. As if anyone could possibly love him." Opening her eyes before blinking at seeing Shinji and Laura together, she groans. "Aw crap. It wasn't a dream at all. Was it?"

"I'm afraid not, Asuka." Misato's reply gets Asuka to roll her eyes before getting up, facing Shinji and Laura. "Asuka, please, don't make a scene."

"Don't worry, Misato." Misato can only groan at Asuka's tone of voice.

"That's the tone that gets me to worry." Misato's retort causes Asuka to roll her eyes before smirking widely.

"I don't know how it happened, or why you're not wearing your plug-suit and under arms, 3rd Child, but know this. I am still the best Evangelion Pilot NERV has while you're just the Commander's son. Remember that." When Shinji doesn't respond, Asuka grits out, "Are you even listening to me, Shinji?!" Shinji then shakes his head before blinking.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you say something, Pilot Sohryu?"

As Asuka's left eye twitches, Akagi, Rei and Misato all blink in befuddlement. Laura, however, gently clamps her mouth onto Shinji's shoulder to muffle her giggles. As Shinji's 'Kakashi Hatake' impression was dead on. The scent of blood on his BDUs soon get her to break away, yet with a giggly-type smile on her face.

"I'm sure you all have questions, but they'll have to wait until Shinji and I can get the scent of blood off of our bodies and BDUs. But, in the meantime, Dr Akagi, can we please borrow your lighter right quick?"

"Um, sure." Akagi hands Laura the lighter, and watches as both teens put the papers in their hands to the flame. Only for the papers to vanish in a flash. Getting Akagi to smirk softly. "I haven't seen flash paper since I was little. But, why destroy the papers?"

"The writing on them told us to, Dr Akagi." Shinji's reply gets Laura to smirk before nodding.

_(NERV HQ; female showers; fifteen minutes later)_

"Mmm. Reminds me of my first shower on the heli-carrier." Giggling, Laura adds, "Of course, it was also the first time we saw each other naked. Well, mostly naked. I had my bathing suit on before I decided to show my front fully to Shinji. From what I saw of his reaction, he liked what he saw. Much like I liked what I saw." Rei and Asuka's eyes are both wide in shock before Asuka snorts.

"Hah! Nice try, Howlett! The 3rd Child is so shy, he'd likely faint if he ever saw a girl naked! He'd probably even faint if the girl was just in bra and panties!"

"Pilot Ikari did not faint that day in my apartment, and I was mostly naked, Pilot Sohryu." Asuka's bulged eyes and dropped jaw at Rei's comment get Laura to giggle before stepping back in.

"In any case, I made my way to the male showers in the vent system on the heli-carrier because I was in '1st Stage Heat', rapidly advancing to '2nd Stage' it seems because it took what control I had to not jump him in the shower." Smiling softly, Laura gives a giggle.

"Of course, the next morning, I had him looking like a boiled lobster while exercising across from him. Opening and closing my legs repeatedly." Asuka can only gape and go red at the implication while Rei looks at Laura's right shoulder and blinks.

"Miss Howlett, what is the significance of the marking on your upper right arm?" Asuka's attention is quickly gained before she moves to Laura's right side. Seeing the SHIELD insignia gets her to gasp.

"Get… out! You have a tattoo?!" Laura smirks softly at that.

"So does Shinji." Asuka blinks five times trying to reconcile that information while Rei examines the tattoo intently.

"The symbol is of significance, is it not?" At Laura's nod, Rei opens her mouth to speak. Only for Asuka to do so.

"The 3rd Child got inked?! Will someone please tell me what fucking planet we're on?!" But before Laura can say anything, the rude redhead goes on. "There is no way, no way in Hell that Shinji got tattooed as he's so wimpy, he'd be crying before the needle even meets his skin! Much like Shinji's tale about you both being lovers is utter bullshit!" Smirking still, Laura turns toward Asuka.

"Shinji figured you'd say that about him getting a tattoo. As for us being lovers, it's not bullshit. Do you know what this is, Sohryu?" Putting both her hands onto the curves of her belly, she looks right at Asuka. Getting a snort and smirk from her.

"You need an anatomy lesson, Howlett? It's your damn stomach!"

"Wrong, Sohryu." Gently rubbing her belly with both hands, she adds, "This is where the cubs Shinji and I create will take form before entering the world after we marry. We're going to try for 28."

"28?" At Laura's nod, Asuka snorts. "Oh sure. Take advantage of a hopeless virgin by promising to marry and have 28 kids with him. How shameless can you get?"

"Actually, before we came to be in the plug together, we'd just finished doing it in a temple in Southern Wakanda." Her smirk going sultry, she adds, "In fact, we had our first sex together two weeks ago. I gave him my virginity and he gave me his." Asuka's shock is evident as her left eye twitches even more.

"No… way!" Laura could only moan sultrily at that.

"He was so gentle, I had to ram him into me with my legs. Just because that sweet man of mine couldn't stand the thought of hurting me. It was also our first 'cub-making practice' session. Any time we'd make love, it'd be 'cub-making practice' for us as he'd spray his cub-batter right into my womb. If not for the BC I'm on, I'd be with cubs right now. Although…" Laura's trail-off as she giggles cause Asuka to only be in sheer disbelief at that.

"No way." At Laura's nod, Asuka then smirks before saying, "At least I gave Shinji his first kiss." Laura gives a snort at that. "What was that about?!"

"Last I checked, Sohryu, a kiss does not involve nearly suffocating the person you're kissing." A stunned Asuka blinks while Laura asks, "I mean, since when does kissing a guy just because you're bored mean his nose should be held shut while your lips are pressed against his?"

"I can't believe… he told you." Asuka's mind is blown at the implication.

"Yeah, well, I coaxed it out of him when OD Dugan asked about anything personal between you two."

"OD, Miss Howlett?"

"Operations Director, Rei. Much like Misato's position with NERV." Upon seeing Rei nod her understanding, Laura notes her pale complexion and softly grins. "I'd never met anyone with skin that's pure white as snow before." Seeing her look toward her, Laura adds, "Much like red eyes. Well, except for that 'Smurf' reject and shades and visor 'Cyclops' wears. Though I don't know if the visor or shades count. I'll have to ask the Professor."

"Did you just say 'Smurf' reject, 'Cyclops' and Professor?!"

"Part of the long story, Sohryu." Asuka can only grumble grumpily at that.

"It better be a good one."

"It is." Noticing Rei is eying her hands intently, Laura asks, "What is it?"

"I do not see the exit points for your claws, Miss Howlett." Smirking softly, Laura extends the claws in her right hand, allowing Rei to get a good look before retracting them. She then relishes Rei's eyes going wide as the exit points heal right up. "Does that not hurt?"

"Believe it or not, Shinji asked me the same thing while giving me a foot massage." At Rei and Asuka's stunned expressions, Laura shrugs. "Not really."

"How can that not hurt, Howlett?! And when did Shinji give you a foot massage?!"

"The people responsible killed off the nerves at the exit points for the claws, Sohryu. Apparently, they felt an assassin that yelps in pain any time the claws come out is useless in the field." Rei and Asuka's eyes can only bulge in shock at that before the redhead takes it.

"You're an assassin?!"

"I was wished and trained to be, constantly. I then decided the only ones I'll assassinate are those that denied me a normal life with family and friends. Along with those that live to torment others. As to when the foot massage was, it was about a month and a half ago."

"How long have you known Pilot Ikari again, Miss Howlett?"

"Roughly three months, Rei." Changing the subject, she adds, "I just hope Shinji and my BDUs get done soon. I'm not going to greet my future Father-in-Law in the buff. Even if… uh-oh." Asuka's nostrils flare at that, making her irate.

"There'd better not be an 'uh-oh', Howlett! We have no time for 'uh-oh' at all!" Next thing Asuka knows, Laura starts giggling. "Now what?!"

"You'll find out!" With that, Laura exits the shower area after turning off her water. Giggles still going strong. A minute later, she adds, "My BDUs are clean and dry, as are my boots. I just can't believe we both had to fork over our assigned sidearms and ammo to the armory personnel. Along with Shinji passing over his knapsack."

"Not to worry, Howlett! The armory personnel NERV has is quite meticulous in recording every weapon coming into NERV! They also have to clean the LCL off of them! Though I can't understand why the 3rd Child passed his knapsack over to them!"

"I'd certainly hope so. We take a dim view on sloppy record keeping when it comes to our firearms. NERV could very well be investigated for weapons theft if Shinji's and my weapons come up missing and no records exist for them. If they try to hinder the investigation, my claws will do the work. As for cleaning them, Shinji and I are both well-practiced with them. Shinji's knapsack has… well, you'll see."

"I see!" Looking over toward Rei, Asuka whispers, "NERV's armory does record and clean every firearm that comes in, right, Wondergirl?"

"It does." Rei's voice is soft, something that Asuka is, for once, glad for. "However, this circumstance is not very common. Nor is that particular model of firearm. Ikari and Howlett, however, do seem to be quite adept when it comes to their care." The lack of Laura's voice and the sound of the door closing tells them it's clear for them to talk somewhat freely.

"Then I guess we'll have to hope the armory didn't fuck up with the records or cleaning. I don't ever want to see that girl that mad again."

"It would be unwise to anger her as to do so would be detrimental to good health. Although I do find it perplexing about Pilot Ikari handing over his knapsack as if it was or was containing ordnance."

"Yeah, yeah. I know, 1st Child. That was really bizarre." Asuka then looks at herself in the mirror and sighs upon seeing the mustache is still there before turning back into the shower head. "I just can't believe that 'Deadpool' nut you saw drew a mustache on me."

"It was the only conclusion that can be reached by Ikari and Howlett, given their responses. Also, Deadpool did say he would be lying if he denied it." Asuka can only smirk and snort at that.

"Is it just me, or does this Deadpool guy live for mayhem?"

"I actually live for deathly destructive mayhem." The unfamiliar male voice to Asuka's ears gets her to slowly turn around before seeing a red-black male mask-wearing form with weaponry. "With such a bitchy personality like yours, no wonder Shinji's not going for you." Asuka goes beet red while Rei is stoic. "What grace and poise you have, Miss Ayanami. If only I was your age. We might have been able to hit it off."

"Unlikely." With that, she exits the shower, cool as a cucumber. Deadpool then blinks and turns to the readers.

"No wonder you fans call her 'Ice Queen' and like pairing Shinji with her. Nothing fazes her and she's much gentler. Remarkable. Much like how you think Asuka is a bitch that shouldn't even be allowed to breed. Much less with Shinji." That in itself sets Asuka off.

"AAAAHHHH! FILTHY PERVERT!"

_(NERV armory; same time)_

"Okay, cleaning the LCL off of this one is done." Holding the weapon's frame up, the armorer asks, "But since when did NERV issue a 5.7x28mm to Pilot Ikari?"

Giving a shrug, the armorer then writes down the serial number, reassembles and puts Shinji's FN into a plastic bin marked with 'Ikari, S' on it before reaching into the other bin marked 'Howlett, L' and pulling out another FN in the same caliber.

"Another one? Oh well. I can use the practice anyways." Next thing the armorer knows…

"Excuse me! Coming by here!" A red-black male form rushes by the armory's main desk, trailed by an irate and naked Asuka. Holding a Section 2 goon's nightstick. A goon that might not ever have children from the way the redhead kicked him just because she forgot to get dressed.

"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN BRAIN YOU, INSANE JACKASS PERVERT! ALLEGING I'D EVER GET WITH THAT SPINELESS STOOGE! FOR THAT, YOU WILL DIE!" Deadpool manages to elude the redhead long enough to chat with the armorer.

"You about to get started on Miss Howlett's?"

"Yep."

"Good. Just so you know, if either of them come up missing or are fucked up, SHIELD JOFA Howlett will use her claws to shred out your guts. And then, after cooking them, have them for dinner."

"THERE YOU ARE!"

"Gotta go!" With that, Deadpool races off, with Asuka in hot pursuit, leaving the armorer alone to sigh.

"I could've done without hearing that." Next thing the armorer knows…

"What the fuck?! Toshima, get over here!" Blinking, the armorer does so. Upon arrival, he yells the same thing.

"What the fuck?!"

_(Commander's Office Exterior; one hour later)_

"Well, ready to go in, Shinji?"

"Ready as I can be, Misato." Eye-patch over his left eye, in his BDUs, Shinji feels his right hip. Reassuring himself that he's armed and his sidearm is loaded. Asuka then clears her throat.

"What's with the eye-patch? You look like a fucking pirate that joined the military." Shinji grins before replying with a pirate's tone.

"Yaargh, ye'll see, Pilot Sohryu. Laura?" Laura, eye-patch covering her right eye, giggles at that before giving her reply. In the same pirate growl.

"Yaargh, on yer three, partner." Shinji lightly squeezes her right hand before the door opens. As they walk in, Laura can't help but roll her eyes at the size of the office before using her normal voice. "I wonder if he's trying to compensate for something, Shinji." Her lover can only shrug before smirking softly, giving her a wink before going back to his normal voice.

"I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case." Shinji's reply gets her to giggle even more.

"I have very little to compensate for, 3rd Child and… anomaly." Gendo's voice is guttural and sinister-sounding, with Akagi and Fuyutsuki's sighs being audible. Also in the office, much to Misato's annoyance, is Ryoji Kaji, his ever-present grin on his face. Yet Misato puts it out of her mind.

"Are you alright, Commander? You sound like you have a cold of some kind." Misato's query and comment gets a mirthless chuckle that sounds just as guttural before Gendo leans forward into the light. Rei and Asuka can only blink while Misato clasps her cross. Shinji and Laura, however…

"Boy. You weren't kidding when you said your Father was 'Satan', Shinji." Asuka, Misato and Rei all blink at Laura's words before looking toward Shinji. Akagi, Kaji and Fuyutsuki following suit.

At Gendo's growl, the teen can only shrug at the sight of Gendo's face covered by red prosthetic pieces. Which meld perfectly with his beard, along with curved horns on his forehead.

"I guess he lost his concentration at some point, Laura." His lover nods before smiling widely.

"It's nice to meet you, 'Satan'. Your son is in good hands with me."

"You would be wise to remember you are here under my discretion, anomaly. As I can have you vanish without a trace."

"Do that and I'm shutting you down. For keeps." Shinji's tone gets Akagi, Kaji, Misato and Asuka to do double takes with Rei blinking blankly and Laura looking toward him with love. Gendo, however, chortles while Fuyutsuki face-palms.

"By what means, 3rd Child? And why are you and the girl both wearing those eye-patches?"

"As a JOFA for SHIELD. The eye-patches are part of the uniform."

"And that means what to me?"

"My partner and I are authorized to use lethal force to quell threats to each other, others around us and the planet. I would have no problems with using lethal force on you." Gendo is silent, contemplating his words before looking down at the day's reports and nodding.

"Very well. I understand there was an incident in which Pilot Sohryu angrily chased an unknown man through NERV's corridors while nude." Asuka can only go beet red as Gendo adds, "The man was described as red-black, wearing a mask and heavily armed. He was also responsible for her unique facial art and Dr Akagi appearing in underwear while on the clock?" Gendo's disbelief is evident as he looks up toward the group.

"His name is Deadpool. A very talkative merc with an appetite for death, destruction and mayhem." Shinji's words get Gendo to nod cautiously before the latter speaks up.

"I would like to hear more about the occurrence later on. First off, let's discuss SHIELD. What is 'SHIELD', exactly?"

"It stands for 'Supreme Headquarters International Espionage Law-Enforcement Division'. It's much like NERV in its purpose, except more expanded. Protection of the world from local, international, global and intergalactic threats." Next thing he knows, Asuka's voice cuts in as she pushes in between the both of them.

"Um, 3rd Child, if it means all that, shouldn't it be 'SHIELED' instead?" Shinji and Laura both roll their uncovered eyes at that, with Shinji taking it.

"No, Pilot Sohryu. 'Law-Enforcement' is hyphenated."

"Ah, gotcha. What does 'JOFA' mean?" Laura takes that opening.

"It means 'Junior Operative: Field Agent'. You'd have to be a JO first, though."

"Okay." Looking the knapsacks over, she asks, "What's inside them anyway? I thought the armory guys were going to have a coronary when they passed the 3rd Child's back over."

"We'll show you later on."

"Fair enough, 3rd Child." Giving Laura an estimating glance, she then asks, "Are you really going to have kids with this freak, 3rd Child?" Next thing Asuka knows, she feels a hard slap at the back of her head. Looking toward where the slapping hand came from, she blinks toward Shinji. "What… the… fuck, 3rd Child?!"

"I'll thank you to not talk about my partner like that, Pilot Sohryu."

"And I'll thank you to remember your manners, Shinji. Boys don't hit girls. Girls do."

"I think it's best I do it and not Laura. No offense, Laura."

"None taken." Asuka's eyes go wide at that before she grits her teeth.

"Why is it best you do it and not her?" Shinji considers it before sighing audibly.

"You wanna take this one, Laura? Your explanation will be much easier to understand than mine would be as I'd probably butcher it." Shinji's words get all but Laura to blink in befuddlement. Laura, however, gives him a soft smile.

"Sure. Level of force?" Shinji ponders it before shrugging.

"Half sounds safe enough. Should get the point across just fine, along with prevent a concussion or skull fracture. Whichever comes first."

"Got it." Giving Asuka a smirk, Laura says, "This is why Shinji said it's best he do it and not me." Next thing Asuka knows, she feels like she'd been softly hit by a frying pan.

"Why the fuck did you hit me with a frying pan, Howlett?!"

"There was no frying pan, Pilot Sohryu." Rei's soft voice gets Asuka's attention. "JOFA Howlett struck the back of your head with the palm of her hand like JOFA Ikari did. It is likely she has a metal skeleton within her."

"I call bullshit on that, Wondergirl!"

"She actually does." Akagi's voice gets their attention before the scientist goes on. "I did a workup on JOFA Howlett and she indeed has a metal skeleton and claws in her hands and feet. She also has a genetic anomaly resulting in an accelerated healing factor and a heightened sense of smell."

"It's called the 'X-Gene', Dr Akagi." Shinji's reply gets everyone's attention. Especially Gendo's.

"How do you know of this 'X-Gene', Pilot Ikari?"

"I was told of it when I woke up in Laura's home world."

"I trust that SHIELD is operational over there."

"It is." Gendo mulls it over before eying the knapsacks intently.

"What are the contents of the knapsacks? Pilot Sohryu's statement about the armory personnel having coronaries is somewhat alarming."

"Alright. But, you might want to sit down for this one, Dr Akagi." Akagi gives a snort, causing Shinji to shrug. "Okay. If you think you can handle it."

Unzipping it, Shinji reaches down into the knapsack and brings out…

"Pump-action closed breech rocket launcher. Fires 40x305mm warheads. Has four magazines of 10 AP-HE rockets per magazine." Gendo and Akagi both feel their eyes go wide in disbelief, Fuyutsuki, Misato, Asuka and Rei all blink blankly and Kaji chuckles.

"You should've sat down, Ritsu. Why don't you go ahead?" Akagi nods and does so as Shinji brings out another piece. "Ooh, what's that one, Shinji?"

"Hellsing Arms Harkonnen Jr bullpup in 30x152mm with DU-HE warheads."

"30x152mm DU-HE?!" Asuka's in intense disbelief before she asks, "What the fucking Hell are you going to be hunting with that thing, 3rd Child?! Tanks and other armored vehicles?!"

"No, no, Pilot Sohryu. See, Laura and I'll be hunting elephants with this gun." Asuka blinks at that before chuckling weakly.

"I feel sorry for the elephants." Shinji and Laura both give her an exasperated look, causing her to blink again. "You mean…"

"Of course we'll be hunting tanks and other armored vehicles with this gun!" Rolling his uncovered eye again, he looks back toward Laura. "Honestly, I can't even believe she went for that sarcasm."

Laura giggles while Asuka moves away from them both. Not wanting to chance another head-slap. Shinji lays the Harkonnen down onto the floor before reaching in and bringing the Jackal 'C'. Misato can't help gulp at the bore size.

"What is that one, Shinji?"

"Hellsing Arms Jackal 'C' in 13x21mm. It fires AP-HE rounds." The glee in Shinji's voice and eye gets Laura to guffaw as he adds, "I've been meaning to test out the Harkonnen and Jackal, for that matter."

"I'm sure NERV can arrange for that." Gendo's eyes are trembling with fear at the amount of glee in the young man's eye before he adds, "In fact, I'm sure Major Katsuragi can find a suitable testing venue for the… artillery in your possession. Provided, of course…" Shinji nods, a soft grin creasing his face.

"Sure. I'll keep Piloting for NERV while doing my duties as a SHIELD JOFA. But three things. One, Major Katsuragi and Mr. Kaji are seconded to SHIELD. No questions asked." Asuka's squawk and Misato's blink gets Shinji to inwardly grin before Gendo speaks again.

"I find that agreeable. The second item?"

"I need a message delivered. I'm sure you know who I mean if I may?" Gendo blinks before nodding his assent. Watching as Shinji walks up to his desk before turning a notepad his way and picking up a pen. Writing a short, curt message, he finishes before turning the notepad back to him. "If any questions arise, I'll be more than happy to discuss them."

"I'm sure that would be appreciated." Gendo lightly blanches at seeing who the message is for before eying the pistols on Shinji and Laura's waists. "I hope both yourself and JOFA Howlett are proficient on your sidearms."

"We are. In fact, if you'd like us to be evaluated…" Seeing where Shinji's going with it, Misato steps in.

"Sir, I volunteer myself to test the proficiency of JOFAs Ikari and Howlett." At Misato's words, Gendo puts his hands over his mouth, covering his grin. Causing Laura to stifle a smirk.

'That explains where Shinji got it from. Though I like Shinji's a lot more. His is more human.'

"Much as I admire your initiative, Major Katsuragi, your personal connection with JOFA Ikari can potentially lead to bias on your part. Meaning Captain Chiron will evaluate them both as per Section 2 standards."

Pausing to ensure his words are getting through, he adds, "However, should they fail to show proficiency, they will forfeit their weaponry to Section 2's armory. Even if it was entrusted to them by SHIELD. JOFAs Howlett and Ikari, do you have any issues with that proviso?"

"No issues." Misato and Asuka's gasps at Shinji's casual acceptance gets Gendo to smirk internally before Shinji goes on. "However, we would accept tutoring from Captain Chiron should he find it needed for us to be proficient by Section 2 standards." Gendo mulls it over before finding it to his liking.

"I will allow that. Would tomorrow after school be sufficient, JOFAs?"

"It would be." Laura's comment gets Shinji to nod as she goes on. "However, given their calibers, it would be advisable for the Jackal 'C' and Harkonnen both to be test fired outdoors on the outskirts of Tokyo-3."

"Agreed, in the interest of reducing collateral damage. What of the rocket launcher? Shouldn't it be test-fired as well?" Shinji mulls it over before shrugging.

"We'll leave that up to Captain Chiron to decide whether or not it's needed. It'll probably be best used in surface-to-surface and surface-to-air combat defense should it be needed." Gendo weighs it carefully before answering.

"That sounds most prudent. Your instructors have educated you both quite well and are to be commended should we ever meet." Looking Laura over, and finding himself curious, he then asks, "How did you two meet?"

"Officially, it was when Shinji landed on top of me in the Canadian wilderness, in the Quebec Province. However, he was unconscious when he landed. Properly, it was the next morning at the Xavier Institute where my Dad's an instructor."

"I'm guessing that's a school for teenagers with 'X-Genes', JOFA Howlett." At her nod, Gendo then asks, "Are there many with your ability?"

"Not really. See, every 'X-Gene' is different." Smirking, she adds, "One student is even able to absorb life force, memories and abilities with a simple touch." Gendo blinks behind his glasses before musing thoughtfully.

"I imagine an ability like that can be a tremendous burden, especially given the nature of it. Along with potentially useful if honed properly." Shinji then grins before speaking again.

"That's right. There's even a student nicknamed 'Boom-Boom'. Give you three guesses what her ability is, but you'll probably only need one."

"Generating explosive force." Gendo's reply gets Shinji to nod as he starts putting the artillery back into the knapsack. With Laura taking the opportunity to reply.

"Basically." His mouth covered by his hands, Gendo gives a grimace before nodding. Yet he can't help but be curious.

"How were you two able to breathe in the entry plug?"

"A SHIELD scientist created a breathing apparatus called a respireather. We'd have used a submersible scrubber to clear up and re-oxygenate the LCL, but Unit-01 reactivated before Laura could get it into place."

"Would you be adverse in terms of Dr Akagi testing it? It could very well serve as an emergency aid for such a situation." Laura gives an eager Akagi a look before shrugging.

"Not at all. I just hope you have a lot of tainted LCL on hand needing scrubbing."

"We have quite a bit, actually." Before either teen can say more, Gendo clears his throat.

"I believe I would like to hear more about SHIELD. Perhaps tomorrow as today was rather long, especially for you, JOFA Ikari." Shinji finishes loading the pieces back into the knapsack and closes it, not missing Gendo's blink of surprise.

"It has. Roughly three months' worth of a long day."

"Then I won't keep you any longer than I have. You may leave." At their nods, they turn to leave only for Gendo to clear his throat. "I nearly forgot, JOFA Ikari. What is the third thing that you and your partner require to perform your duties as JOFAs of SHIELD?" Shinji looks back at Gendo before saying one thing.

"Stay the fuck out of our way." Rei, Misato and Asuka's eyes shoot wide open at Shinji's uncharacteristic attitude while Laura grins softly. Kaji and Akagi both blink dumbfounded while Fuyutsuki does what he can to stifle his amusement as Gendo sighs.

"Very well. You will get no interference from myself." With that, they start to leave only for Gendo to add, "Dr Akagi, Fuyutsuki, if you two would stay behind for conference."

"Yes, Commander." Once the group's gone and the door closed, Gendo looks toward Akagi.

"Have you finished your workup on the 3rd Child's physiology?"

"I have, sir. The changes to Shinji are consistent with three months of proper nutrition and exercise. I also noticed that he has a tattoo." She can only relish the shocked look in his eyes before he recovers.

"I see. The girl?"

"Much like I said earlier, along with Shinji's input regarding the name of the extra gene. She even has the same tattoo as Shinji does."

"Did either of them explain it?"

"Just that they'd explain it in… here. The tattoos are of the insignia of SHIELD, sir."

"I see. In your honest opinion, Doctor, is the 3rd Child suitable for the Scenario?"

"Under the present circumstances, sir… no."

"It seems some… rectifying is in order, then. Proceed with your report on the girl."

"Yes, sir. There's one thing I didn't want to mention until we were alone is that Miss Howlett is sexually active."

"Are you certain, Akagi?" Fuyutsuki's query is silently echoed by Gendo before the fake blond nods.

"Very certain. During her exam, I noticed seminal fluid inside her canal and I asked her about her sexual partner. She identified Shinji as her partner and called it 'cub-making practice'. It appears as if she's quite taken with him and he with her." Gendo can only smirk behind his hands.

"I do not doubt that. Any chance of pregnancy?"

"Not at present, sir, as she did add that she's on BC based on her genetic code." Curious, she then asks, "If I may, sir, what is the message and who is it for?" Gendo calmly turns it toward Akagi's eyesight before showing it to Fuyutsuki. Both can't help but be stunned. Akagi most of all. "How… how can he know about SEELE?"

"I do not know, Akagi. However, his message about SEELE being conned is most troubling in itself."

"I wonder what led Shinji to think that."

"As do I, Fuyutsuki. If confirmed, however… we have an opportunity to reshape the world as we see fit after 3rd Impact."

"But… we're roughly working from the same thing as SEELE! If they're being conned, then we're being conned too!"

"Possibly, Akagi. But we can't exactly afford to miss an opportunity to lose competition without violence."

"What about what Shinji said for the third thing, Gendo?"

"I did say he would get no interference from me, Fuyutsuki. However, third party interference is acceptable to me." Picking up his intercom, Gendo says, "Captain Chiron, report to my office immediately."

"_On my way, sir."_ Two minutes later, a knock is heard on the door.

"Enter." As the door swings open, a pudgy Japanese man wearing a black business suit strides in and closes the door. Grinning widely, he then walks up to the desk and salutes.

"Captain Chiron reporting as ordered, Commander Ikari."

"Captain, I have a special assignment for you. I trust you heard about the 3rd Child's… companion by now."

"I have, sir. Do you want her… disappeared, by any chance?" Gendo smirks ruthlessly before shaking his head in negation.

"Although that has appeal, it's out of the question. The 3rd Child and his companion are to be certified for firearms proficiency according to Section 2 standards. Tomorrow, after the end of the school day." Chiron can only blink blankly before Gendo goes on. "I want you to overwhelm them, yet give them a fair and honest grade."

"Ah, you're talking about the mass attack scenario I designed that you'd tabled?" At Gendo's nod, Chiron smirks. "I'd be delighted, sir. Chances are they only spent time on a firing range, shooting only at paper targets."

"I agree. However, should they fail to perform at Section 2 standards, you're to 'mentor' them until they either pass or fail a third time. Upon their final failure, their weapons will become part of Section 2's armory." Chiron can only smirk gleefully at the thought of stripping the 3rd Child and the girl of their weaponry.

"I look forward to 'mentoring' them, sir. Anything else?"

"Yes. The 3rd Child has also acquired… artillery pieces that require testing. They're to be tested outside of Tokyo-3 to minimize collateral damage. And I do mean minimize."

"I understand sir. In fact, I know of the perfect place for the testing of the pieces. A rock quarry just outside of Tokyo-3 is unable to proceed because of our… acquiring their explosive material. I'm sure the 3rd Child and the girl would love to assist them in doing their work."

"Indeed." Gendo then notices Chiron's quizzical expression and asks, "What is on your mind, Captain?"

"Just where did they get the hardware from, sir?"

"I am uncertain. However, given the evidence, it's likely that the 3rd Child and his companion spent time together under the care of an organization named 'SHIELD', learning to be Agents. Do what you can to learn more about what they'd learned. Perhaps it could benefit NERV even more."

"Yes sir. I will personally escort them to the Section 2 firing range for their evaluation."

"Good. Make certain Major Katsuragi and Mr. Kaji both are present as well as they are seconded to SHIELD. Even if SHIELD doesn't exist here." Chiron grimaces at that, with Gendo noticing. "It won't kill you to be polite to Major Katsuragi, Captain."

"I understand, sir." Meanwhile…

_(NERV HQ elevator 5; same time)_

The tension in the elevator's so stifling, Shinji shrugs before turning off the elevator's power.

"WHAT THE FUCK, SHINJI?!"

"WHAT GIVES, 3RD CHILD?!"

"This is most bothersome."

"Wanna make out, Misa-chan?" The only one not saying anything is Laura, as she's too busy trying to keep from giggling. Shinji, however, sighs.

"Out with it, Misato."

"Alright… are you out of your mind, Shinji? A NERV elevator is not a toy."

"I know. I just wanted to talk before we leave here." Shinji can tell they're blinking before he adds, "You're worried about the evaluation tomorrow, aren't you, Misato?"

"Damn straight I am! Chiron is going to give you both utterly bullshit odds in the evaluation!" Shinji and Laura both give Misato grins that, while she can't see them, she knows they're there.

"It so happens that the both of us, along with our fellow JOFAs and Colonel Fury, dealt with utterly bullshit odds two weeks ago." Shinji's reply gets Laura to giggle loudly and the others to blink before Shinji turns the elevator back on. As the elevator descends, Kaji clears his throat.

"So, how many JOFAs are there, anyway?" Laura takes that one.

"At the time of our departure, there was five. Counting the both of us."

"So it's down to three, then." Asuka's comment gets them both to nod before she asks, "How'd you get that status anyway?"

"We, along with Colonel Fury, rescued a girl that was a former student of the Institute along with the LA County ADA from very bad people. During the extraction, we did massive property damage." Shinji's words get Laura to smirk.

"What's all this 'we' stuff, sweetie? You're the one, along with Colonel Fury, that swapped out the candles for dynamite." She then loses it and starts guffawing before leaning on Shinji.

"DYNAMITE?" Misato, Kaji and Asuka's shared yell get Shinji and Laura to lightly wince while Rei's eyes go wide. Laura nods while guffawing before she calms herself down to snickers.

"That's right. Even more, on our way out, Shinji talked to Viper, one of the very bad people, about insurance." Erupting into more laughter again, she clutches tightly onto Shinji. Irritating Asuka.

"Was it in person or…"

"I used a radio that I got hold of from a thug that Laura brained with her claws. Both hemispheres, right to left, front and back." Rei then softly speaks up.

"Did you encounter the… odds on your way out?" Laura recovers her composure enough so she can speak coherently.

"Nope. On our way in. Of course, we had to be taken prisoner first. But in order to not give what we were doing away, we fought hard and made it look real." Kaji blinks before smirking softly.

"You guys did a 'Trojan Horse' on them, didn't you?" At their silent nods, Kaji grins in approval. "I wish I could've seen that." Curious, he then asks, "Where'd it happen at?"

"Berlin, Germany. It was a mansion that was owned by the family that started the organization of very bad people." Shinji gives a sad sigh as he adds, "It was a nice one, too. 18th century construction, excellent shape. It just had the misfortune of being owned by sociopaths with no morals at all. Otherwise, it'd still be intact. As it was, we did it a favor and put it out of its misery."

"No, sweetie. You and the Colonel did it. The rest of us just enjoyed the fireworks." Sighing softly, Laura adds, "I just wish I had a copy of the dialogues between you and Viper that Arcade managed to record. Along with the video that EXTSUR had of the snowball fight and fireworks display."

"Well, I was hoping to surprise you… seeing as your birthday was coming up soon. But since we're here…" Shinji's words get a teary smile from Laura before she softly embraces him.

"How'd you find out?"

"I asked Dr Riesman when you were born and… well, your birthday was a week away from when we left."

Next thing Shinji knows, Laura's lips are against his in a passionate kiss. The two escalate their kiss just as the elevator door opens and the two hear a soft squeak from outside the elevator. Reluctantly ending their kiss, they turn toward the squeak and see a young woman with a deep red blush on her face.

"Ah, Lt Ibuki, how was your day?" Shinji's nonplussed query gets Laura to grin widely before she extends her hand to the Lt.

"I'm Laura, Shinji's girlfriend."

"Hello, Laura. I'm Maya." Maya returns the greeting before asking, "Do you have room for one more or are you about to come out for some privacy?"

"We've room for one more, Maya." Misato's voice is amused as she adds, "We're just going to the garage so we can go home for the day." Looking Shinji and Laura over, she adds, "But we need to get new school uniforms for Shinji and Laura both before we get there. Shinji especially since he had a growth spurt." Maya looks Shinji over and nods.

"Alright. Thank you, Major." Maya then steps into the elevator and the door closes before the elevator resumes its descent. As it descends, Laura and Shinji both share a soft smirk of amusement. Remembering the fun they had before Kaji clears his throat again.

"What was it like for you to see snow for the first time, Shinji?" Maya blinks at that before Shinji smiles softly.

"Exactly like the teacher said, Mr. Kaji. Beautiful." Looking sideways toward Laura, he adds, "Much like Laura is." Laura blushes beet red while Asuka's barely able to stifle the urge to vomit at the 3rd Child's sweet sappiness. Maya, however, giggles.

"I never thought you'd be so charming, Shinji. Little wonder Laura fell for you." Wearing a wide grin, she then asks, "When's the wedding?" Laura speaks up, warm smile on her face.

"When we're either 18 or 20, starting our family on our wedding night." Softly rubbing her belly over her BDU blouse, she murmurs, "I look forward to making many cubs with Shinji." Next thing they know…

"GGGAAAGGGHHH! I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE!" Asuka then scrambles up toward the elevator ceiling, screaming, "LET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HELL!"

Reaching the ceiling hatch, she opens it and goes up onto the elevator car's roof. Peering down into the car, she relishes at seeing their stunned expressions.

"I'll just be up here until we reach the garage floor. Once you all are out, I will exit." Smiling down 'sweetly' at them, she then slams the cover down. Shinji and Laura both blink at each other before sharing their query.

"What was that about?" Misato, Kaji and Maya all snicker while Rei can only blink before Misato gently clasps onto their shoulders.

"It's just that Asuka's jealous, you two."

"I AM NOT JEALOUS! SHE WANTS THAT STOOGE SO BADLY, SHE CAN HAVE HIM!" Misato titters at the redhead's denial while Maya snickers.

_(Katsuragi/Sohryu/Ikari apartment; forty minutes later)_

Storming into the apartment, Asuka strides toward her room, grumbling.

"No good, rotten… lovey dovey freaks!" Turning back toward the others, she grits out, "Howlett, you're rooming with me! Who knows what that filthy pervert will do to you if you room with him?!"

"I'd actually like to find out, Sohryu." Laura then smiles softly as she adds, "So your kind 'invitation' is declined."

"GGGAAAGGGHHH!" With that, she storms into her room and slam-slides the door shut. Only to open it back up and snarling, "Dinner better be ready by 7:40 tonight, 3rd Child, or else!" Slam-sliding it shut again, she grumbles loudly through the door's seam with the wall.

"It seems Agent Pierce was spot on with his assessment on Asuka during our introduction to 'Charlie-Class' explosives, Shinji." Shinji gives Laura a nod while Misato blinks. But before she can ask, Pen-Pen's fridge opens and Pen-Pen waddles out. Getting Laura's attention before she smiles.

"Hello, Pen-Pen. It's nice to finally meet you." The penguin looks right at Laura before sounding off.

"WARK!" Pen-Pen then goes to the beer fridge and opens it before extracting a can of Yebisu.

"I'm guessing you didn't tell us about Pen-Pen's love of booze because you felt we wouldn't believe it." Laura's comment has a smirk attached to it before Shinji nods.

"I felt it's one of those 'You have to be there' kind of things." Laura giggles softly at that before Shinji goes to work. "I think I'll try to replicate one of the recipes I learned from 'Cookie' during…" His trail off gets a comforting hand onto his shoulder from Laura before she gently hugs him.

"He had it coming, sweetie. Jacobs had no business pulling that bullshit in front of Colonel Fury and against Instructor Hodson before going after you." Giving him a soft peck on his cheek, she murmurs, "Never lose your heart, Shinji. Okay?"

"Okay." Feeling her give him one more squeeze before moving away, Shinji examines the inventory of the pantry and grins softly. "May not have the ingredients 'Cookie' had, but I can 'meatball' something approximately close together." With that, he goes to work. Meanwhile…

As she watches Shinji work, Misato can't help but feel worried about their conversation. Deciding she wants to know, she turns to Laura.

"What was that about, Laura?" Laura mulls it over before sighing.

"Long story short, Shinji was introduced to Krav Maga and his opponent was an arrogant egotist of an asshole. The Instructor had Shinji watch him and the asshole spar, theorizing that Shinji's muscle memory would kick in. Shinji and the asshole sparred and Shinji won. Asshole didn't like it, assaulted the Instructor and went after Shinji. Wound up nearly getting his ass killed when Shinji went ape-shit."

"Much like… Unit-01." Laura's silent nod gets Misato to gulp before she asks, "What became of the asshole?"

"Got a BCD for conduct unbecoming and left the heli-carrier. Where he is now, I don't even give a fuck, nor do I want to. Shinji, on the other hand, got off lightly. Spent a weekend in the Galley with 'Cookie' and learned new recipes." Misato gives a soft smirk at that.

"Not much of a punishment. Shinji loves to cook."

"I know. 'Cookie' even asked Colonel Fury if Shinji had ever been to cooking school as he took to it rather deftly." Before Misato can even ask, Laura adds, "Only a few knew about Shinji's history here."

"Colonel Fury being one of them." At Laura's nod, Misato grins. "I'd sure like to meet the Colonel and shake their hand in thanks for helping him where I couldn't. Much like you did in your own way." Laura gives a soft blush before speaking.

"We actually helped each other. In ways we never even imagined." Misato eyes her intently before sighing.

"The bad people you guys rescued the girl and ADA from… they created you, didn't they?"

"Yes." Extending the claws in her right hand, she grits out, "I blamed my Dad for the crap HYDRA put me through when he didn't even know about me. They hurt my Mom in ways best not described. For all the shit Viper pulled, I want her head on my wall as a trophy. Much like Colonel Fury has the head of Viper's Father on his office wall as a trophy, courtesy of Deadpool."

"I'm sensing some resentment of Colonel Fury toward the man." Laura's snort gets Misato to smirk before asking, "Why?"

"Colonel Fury lost his left eye to that evil bastard and has to wear an eye-patch."

"That would do it, alright. It'd also explain why you two wore eye-patches in the Commander's office. You both look up to him."

"He is a great leader and mentor, as are our other instructors." Misato smiles softly, only for curiosity to take hold.

"What are the other JOFAs like?"

"First up, we have Arcade Torque. He didn't like his given name, so I won't say it. He's the tech-whiz of us. Next we have Amanda Sefton. She's the girlfriend to one of the Institute students and very good natured. She's the team medic. Then we have Remy 'Gambit' LeBeau. Former member of the Thieves Guild and Magneto's Acolytes. He was basically shanghaied into joining us by the Heads of the Thieves and Assassins Guilds." Misato blinks at that before grinning.

"Sounds like you guys came to care for each other."

"We did. And if anyone, and I mean anyone, is to hurt Shinji, Arcade, Amanda and Remy, I will take them out. I will make them wish they had never even thought of it and that they'd have never been born." The glint in Laura's green eyes get Misato to gulp audibly before shakily smiling.

"I sure wouldn't want to get on your bad side, Laura." Next thing Misato knows, Shinji lays a wrapped package onto the table in front of Laura.

"Happy early birthday, Laura." Giving her a soft kiss, he goes back to cooking as Laura slowly unwraps the package.

Upon seeing an audio/video player, with a CD-R case atop it, Laura looks toward Misato and grins.

"In the mood for a comedy, Misato?"

"Sure. Just let me get Asuka out here so she can hopefully cheer up some." Laura gives a nod before Misato goes toward Asuka's room. "Asuka, want to watch and hear a comedy?" The redhead sighs audibly before opening the door.

"I can do with. But it'd better be lethally funny, Howlett."

"Oh, you'll probably die laughing, Sohryu."

_(Shinji and Laura's Lovely Suite; four hours later)_

"At least Asuka had a good laugh and is sleeping soundly." A nude Laura smirks softly at an equally nude Shinji's words before slowly straddling him. His member sliding right into her before she pumps up and down on him. Gazing down at him, she gives a sexy whisper.

"Think we can keep quiet so she can sleep?"

"We can only hope, my love." As they make love, however, Asuka is highly agitated. Eye twitching.


End file.
